Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I'm working on my social skills

I sometimes feel insanely socially awkward. Actually sometimes isn't quite right, it's more like a lot of the time. I blame it on my parents. (I've found that I can blame a lot of things on my parents.) They're both introverts, and somehow thought it would be a good idea to homeschool me for 12 years. Yeah, that's right, 12 years. That's like 57% of my life. I'm slowly recovering. However, I also have this brother (actually I have 2, but the other one is not as relevant to this conversation). He was only homeschooled for like 37% of his life. He's also one of the most likable, outgoing, and friendly people I know. Ridiculous. How did I not get these genes? Did my years of homeschooling make me this awkward? I'd like to think so. Sadly, I'm fairly certain I have no one to blame for this but myself.

I was going to relate a story that I thought illustrated my utter social awkwardness, but in reality I'm not sure it does.

Whatever, it's still a good story.

I once had a best friend. We met when I was in 3rd grade and she was in 2nd. We were inseparable. We hung out all the time, played with our beanie babies, formed secret clubs, and talked about boys. We were friends into middle school and junior high. Then it all changed. We were on a church skiing/snowboarding/tubing trip. And, like most jr high girl's conversations, the topic was boys. This friend had a crush on a certain boy, and asked me a question. If this boy ever asked me out, would I tell her? This boy was clearly not interested in me, and the chances of him ever asking me out were slim to none. As a 15 year old, I was lacking the wisdom I now posses and told her I would not. At the time I thought my reasoning was sound. I didn't want to hurt her feelings and this whole situation was preposterous, so why would I tell her? Wrong decision. She became exceedingly angry that I would ever keep this hypothetical event from her. I'm pretty sure that fight lasted for a while. I remember a bus ride where we passed notes back and forth about it. Yep, we passed notes. Apparently having an actual conversation was out of the question. After that, our friendship just kind of died off. At least that's how I remember it. I think if I asked her she would have a completely different version of the story, and probably doesn't even remember this conversation/fight. I'm pretty sure it's my fault we're not friends anymore.

I don't talk to her now. She goes to my school and every once in a while I pass her in the hall. At first I didn't acknowledge that I knew her, but now we nod and smile feebly. I always think about how we used to be best friends, 6 or 7 years ago. If we met for the first time now would be become friends? Are we totally different people than we were 7 years ago? I'd love to ask her, maybe go to coffee or lunch sometime, but I'd feel too awkward about it.

Strangely enough, I'm still good friends with that boy. He never asked me out.

Maybe I'll tell him this story.


  1. I don't find you socially awkward; I find you AWESOME.

  2. I second what Brian says. Unless we are just both socially awkward and that is why we get along? Who knows.

    Also, Justine knows someone who goes to school with us who apparently had an I Hate Justine Club with her friends during HS. She didn't even know about the club until the girl presented her with an apology card for being in the club after sitting by her in class for a while and discovering how great she is.

    For some reason, your story reminded me of this story and I had to share.