I lived in Canada for 8 months, so obviously I am an expert on that fine country. As it is, I have a few things to say about it.
1. Eh
Yes, Canadians do say "eh" no matter how vehemently they tell you that they do not. More frequently, however, they say "hey." That's right. "Hey." As in, this is a blog about Canada, hey? Let me break down how this works. You say a statement. For instance, "That's a really nice cow." After your statement, you say, "Hey" in a quizzical tone of voice, thus turning your statement into a question. "That's a really nice cow, hey?" What? Do they have trouble deciding if they want to say something definitive or ask a question, and they just can't make up their minds until the very last minute? I just imagine the thoughts racing through their minds.
Do I tell her it's a horribly ugly dress, or do I ask her? Tell her or ask her? I don't knooowww!!! "That's a horribly ugly dress..." Oh shoot, that was too mean! Too direct! Maybe if I change it into a question! ".... hey?" Aaaahhh problem solved.
Or maybe it's a confidence thing. They simply aren't sure of anything they say, and need constant approval.
"Justin Bieber is the greatest, hey?" I don't actually know if this person likes Justin Bieber or thinks he's a complete loser, but by adding hey to the end of my statement I will force them to either agree or disagree and save me from horrendous embarrassment and shame.
I have to admit. That might be a good plan. Ironically I totally knew some people in Canada who's last name was Bieber. They were great. So much more quality than Justin Bieber.
2. All-Dressed Chips
Greatest invention ever. Why don't we have these in the states? Seriously, so delicious. It's like a cross between salt and vinegar and barbeque chips. No more standing in front of a 50 foot (or 15 meter) wall of chips trying to decide what you're in the mood for. Last time I went to Canada I bought a big bag of these to bring home and shoved them in one of my carry-ons. At the airport they were searching everyone's luggage twice, once by machine and once by hand, pulling most of the stuff out of the bags. When the lady pulled a full sized bag of potato chips out of my backpack it was a little awkward. I sheepishly told her that we didn't have them in the states. Once I got back to Minnesota I hoarded them and slowly consumed them, almost breaking into tears when I reached the last chip.
3. University Colleges
Will someone please explain to me what the heck a University College is? What exactly is the difference between a Canadian college and university? Because no matter how many people I ask, no one seems to have a comprehensive explanation. Do Canadians even know? After some in-depth googling, I have some answers. Of course, these answers did come from an e-how article that contained the sentence, "Entrance to University programs are as competitive as ever." Really? Yep, still have some questions.
4. Quebec
Do I really need to say anything more?
Now, lest anyone think I hate the fabulous country of Canada, let me just say for the record that I love Canada. Love it. My 8 months there were incredible beyond belief. I hope someday soon to see more of it than just British Columbia, but the little corner I did see was absolutely breathtaking. But really people? "Kraft dinner?" "Tuques?" Ridiculous.
